Coaching for Parents of a Child With Special Needs

Every parent of a child with special needs wants what every parent wants for their child – for them to be happy, loved and accepted.” —Marianne DiBlasi

When your child has special needs, your life is filled with work, decisions and worrying. You expend your time and energy—often to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion—trying to do the right thing for your child, both advocating on their behalf and encouraging their independence.

Most parents do this for their kids, but when your child lives with a disability the responsibility is even greater. And it’s hard to feel confident when you are often scared and confused. Parents have no choice but to shoulder on through the many challenges of supporting a child with disability. It is a hard job and almost nobody understands how intense it really is.

You love your child… not so much the disability.
But the disability is part of your child.

Parents are continually walking in unchartered territory.  There is no definitive road map of what to do or how to respond to many situations and experiences. Whether it’s Autism or Spina Bifida,  Down Syndrome or any other condition, each child within that grouping is unique and their special needs are unique, too.

I love the parents and the kids, and I haven’t even met them yet.” — Marianne DiBlasi

In the beginning…

Challenges on top of challenges. Every task, every decision, every effort has additional implications due to the realities and demands of disability. You are afraid of making the wrong decisions. You are running as fast as you can to keep up and manage.

• Maybe you’ve just received a diagnosis that your child has a disability or medical condition.  Fears flood your mind and you panic about all that you must learn.
• Maybe your new baby needs immediate surgery, and it seems like everyone but you is in charge of your child.
• Maybe you are trying to sift through mountains of information in order to make the best, often life-altering, decisions for your child.

You need to know everything right now, but you can really only know once you’ve been through the experience. It’s maddening.

During times of major transition…

As you child matures, their world will change and expand. This requires that your parenting evolve, too.

• When you enroll your child in school, there will be bureaucratic and systemic challenges to test your patience.
• Ongoing medical procedures will be harder to manage now that your child has school and other activities.
• Your child’s expanding circle of social relationships, accessibility into new places, and feelings about being “different” will add layers of complexity to your already complicated world.
• Together, you must begin laying the groundwork for greater independence.

All the while, you’ll be fighting for the additional attention and support your child requires while simultaneously integrating into “normal” whenever possible. The mixed signals can be confusing for parent and child alike.

A move to greater independence…

There will come a time—that time will vary for every family—when you realize your child is becoming an adult. There are positive steps you can take towards creating greater independence for your child, while still being involved as a loving parent with a lot of knowledge and experience to contribute.

• How can you best assist your child when they consider what’s next after high school? Is your child a candidate for college, vocational training, day program, etc?
• How can you assure your child’s safety and well being, and also support their need for greater control over decision-making?
• What steps can you take to ensure your child has a meaningful life when you are no longer there to care for them on a daily basis?

Though you may provide lifetime emotional and practical support, you will gradually move from a heavy caregiver role to one that is more a partnership or facilitative role.

Would it help to have a coach to guide you
through the phase you are in right now?

Together, we will sort through all the messiness and unknowns of transitions so you can parent with more ease and confidence. You don’t need to go through this alone.

Lessening the stress is a gift you give to yourself — and to your whole family.  When mom and dad are happy, your child will be happier too.

Contact me if you want a partner who holds a safe and welcoming space to support you as you support your child.