Why my child? Why me?
How many times have you asked yourself this question and tried to make sense of the day your life turned upside down and changed forever? On the good days you may decide that your child has a mission to fulfill in this world and you’re here to help him/her fulfill it. But on the bad days, you don’t give a hoot about purpose and mission, you just want to scream at the unfairness of it all.
No one truly gets how hard and lonely it is being the mom of a child with special needs. The guilt and grieving, the huge amount of work and responsibility—it’s overwhelming and all-consuming.” — Marianne DiBlasi
Whether spoken out loud or not, these are the regular thoughts of moms of children with special needs:
- I feel seriously overwhelmed by all the extra work it takes to just get my child out the door to school or to do a simple errand.
- I feel so unhappy in my job as mom, and feel so guilty and pathetic talking about it.
- My grief is like a roller coaster, it subsides for a short while and then I go careening into it again, because I go through it with each new phase of their life.
- When moms with typically developing children can’t stop complaining about how hard it is, I just roll my eyes and think to myself, “They have no idea what a hard day is.”
- If I think about how many years I may be doing this, I’ll go crazy. I’m scared I won’t be able to manage and cope long-term physically and emotionally.
- Sometimes I just want to scream. But I don’t scream. I don’t say anything. And I feel so alone in my burn out.
If you were to document all the details of the ways in which your energy and time is consumed in dealing with the medical, physical and educational challenges your beautiful children are faced with every day it would be daunting (maybe even border on the surreal): doctor’s appointments, surgery, therapy, medications, accessibility, IEPs etc.
Doesn’t it feel like a big secret at times? Even though the challenges are extreme, they remain hidden from almost everyone you know and love. It’s difficult to talk with others about the magnitude of what you manage every day.
Calling all “Wonder Moms”
Moms are typically the ones who keep the family together. But who’s there to support you? Who’s there to listen with open-hearted compassion for what it’s really like for you being a mom?
Calling on a coach—and someone who “gets it” and can offer guidance and wisdom—will help you to sort through it all so it’s not so messy and confusing. You can use me as to use as both as a sounding board and planning partner to address:
- Physical exhaustion
- Recurring waves of grief
- Mental fatigue & frustration
- Lack of understanding from others
- Time gobble of appointments & therapy
- Loss of personal time to pursue your own interests
- Guilt taking its toll
- Learning how to ask for support
- Finding useful information & resources
Together, we can reduce the overwhelm so you can feel more fully alive and empowered. You don’t need to go through this alone.
Lessening the stress is a gift you give to yourself — and to your whole family. Because when mom’s happy, your child will be happier too.
Contact me if you want a partner who holds a safe and welcoming space to support you as you support your child.
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